So I have been wondering about the things which make us unique and different.
One such thing is that most boys poop all the time while the girls are stricken with constipation. Why? Well i’m not so sure. It’s not really a social topic, that is up until recently when I discovered a Facebook Page called “Woman don’t poop”. Now that the ice has been broken I thought this was worth getting to the ‘bottom’ of.
At first I tried to use logic and figured it was just that men were more prone to eating take away food, and just ate more oily rubbish or drank more alcohol, or just ate more period. But it is not so. I have tried soggy chips and wine but nothing just got a really numb bottom from sitting around and waiting for nothing to happen. So you try dried fruit. Now it’s a well known fact that you just don’t feed your baboon fruit, because he’ll go ape in the toilet after 20 minutes. Yet if you feed a woman fruit well……… nothing major.
Is it water I’ve wondered? Yes, No, yes.. ahhh No… not entirely, I’ve met woman who are obsessive water drinkers who still struggle.
So you go and buy some high fibre bran and sprinkle this saw dust over your coco pops and prune juice but still nothing…
As a last resort you could be forced to pop a Dulcolax, a terrible, evil, tiny white tablet that brings on cramping, screaming and sweating and even some biting until finally, horribly loud and embarrassing relief. Which according to the experts is one of the reasons woman cant “Go”, embarrassing noises.
So I Google’d this phenomenon and happened upon the Russian Poop Master: Dr. Konstantin Monastyrsky. I quote “Voomen happen to be expert strainers which leads to chronic constipation”
Amazing thought is that we can pop out a baby but struggle to, as our men might say, drop the kids off at the pool.